Dungeon Cat

You find yourself in a large chamber dimly lit by flickering torches.
Passages lead off to the north and east.
A spiral staircase leads up into darkness.

Look.

Looking around, you see:
* A large, glittering emerald.
* A short, bronze sword inscribed with mysterious runes.
* A wooden box.
* A collection of small, coloured polyhedrons.
* A sheet of parchment.

You hear a meowing sound coming from the box.

Get box.

You pick up the wooden box. It shifts in your hands.

Open box.

You open the wooden box.
Inside the box, you see:
* A small, glowing lump of metal.
* A geiger counter.
* A vial marked "Poison".
* A small, black cat.

The cat leaps from the box and disappears up the spiral staircase.

Get parchment.

You pick up the sheet of parchment. It bears an inscription.

Read parchment.

R.I.P. Gary Gygax, co-creator of D&D.

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[Characters] 5 year old Chantelle and her 6 year old brother Calvin. Their parents, Kylie and the bloke she met on the pull last night.

[Scene] Christmas morning, the crack of dawn, the children are up early, anxious for their presents. They run down the stairs, bouncing with the enthusiasm only those who have yet to experience life can muster. They fall upon their presents, ripping the paper off with glee.

Chantelle, gleefully: "Mummy, daddy! It's the best present in the world ever! You're the best parents in the world, ever".

Calvin, mumpingly: "It's not fair, she always gets the best presents."

Kylie, sluttily: "It's OK, Calvin, look. We got you one as well!"

Calvin: "Yaaaaaay".

The whole family burst into song as the children play with their new toys.

"Throw it off the roof,
Bounce it on the floor,
Kick it in the crotch,
And bang it off the door,

Dead cat,
Dead cat,
It's really where it's at,
Dead cat,
Dead cat,
It's really where it's at."

[Voiceover] Available from all good stores, not suitable for children under the age of 5 as putrefecation may be contagious, always consult a taxidermist before attempting repairs".