419

From: Lady Hypnos Pearly Pandora.
No:36 Old Shrewberry Street,
London England.


Beloved,
I am Lady Hypnos Pearly Pandora, suffering from cancerous ailment.I used to be married to Sir Rosjoy Goldentouch an English aristocat of very high breeding who is dead and resting peacefully. My husband was an able-bodied seaman all his life before he passed. Our life together as man and wife lasted for three minutes without offsprings. My husband died after a protracted illness in an accident he got from Africa while on humanitarian duties. He was shot while scavenging from dustbins, then cooked and eaten. My husband,while he was alive made a vow to uplift the down-trodden and the less-privileged individuals as he had passion for persons who can not help themselves due to physical disability or financial predicament.I can adduce this to the fact that he needed a Child from the marriage, which never came.


When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Twenty Million Pounds (20,000,000.00 Million Great Britain Pounds Sterling)which were derived from his vast estates and investment in capital market with his bank here in UK. Presently, this money is still with the Bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that I have limited days to live due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Which effect my grammer; syntax and speling.


Though what bothers me most is the Tennis Elbow that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has befallen me, I have decided to donate this fund to you and want you to use this gift which comes from my husbands effort to fund the upkeep of widows, widowers, orphans, destitute, the down-trodden, physically challenged children, barren-women and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially, such as people who are obliged to live Up North.


I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husbands relatives are bourgeois and very wealthy individuals and I do not want my husbands hard earned money to be misused or invested into ill perceived ventures such as dolphin-flavoured catfood. I do not want this money to be misused hence the reason for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my husbands relatives around me. I do not want them to know about this development because i want the money used for the Less Previledged. Also, holding a telephone is quite tricky in my predicament.


My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please assure me that you will act just as I have stated herein. Hope to hear from you soon.You can contact me through my personal email address at: pandorafunds419@hotmail.scam


Thanking you in advance for everything,
Sincerely yours,
Lady Hypnos Pearly Pandora

Reality TV

Dee fowateen in tha Big Brutha Howse; wan foughty-seven pee em.

Tha mice are in tha hole in tha skirtin boward, talkin aboot tha cat.

Whitey: "That Fluffy's nothing but a dirty alley-cat, the filthy hooah."

Three-legs: "She should never have been allowed back in the house, it's against the rules. I've got a good mind to walk out...er, limp out."

Tha cat is in tha Di-aree Room, talkin to Big Brutha.

Fluffy: "...and then he gave me a mouse. I mean, I'm not being funny, right, but I thought it was dead. So I was, you know, like, quite pleased, yeah? I went to pick it up and the little <tweet tweet> jumped up and made a run for it! I tried to grab it, but all I got was a <tweet tweet> leg! What use is that to man or beast?"

Big Brother: "Do you have anything else you'd like to tell Big Brother?"

Fluffy: "Well, I don't know how much longer I can keep it a secret from the other house-mates; I'm sure two-legs suspects it already..."

Big Brother: "Big Brother is sure you'll manage. The Diary Room door is now open."

Fluffy: "Oh...and my sardine ration has run out - any chance of -"

Big Brother: "Goodbye, Fluffy."