[for reference, bill bissett]
nd th cat's n my hed
but that's alright, n evrythng
cos maybe he's ded, n maybe he isnt
it's uncertn, see? with tht giger cntr n all
friggin Heisnbrg. I lrnd it n school, but it
didnt do me no good now, did it?
so, nyway, here's the cat deal.
He's lost, n the dark more or less,
lookin at th parchmnt
thinkn bout onions
n stuff
n then there's this big noise
sounds like Montreal on a Tuesday
after th Habs win
nd he scats
not scats like crap, but like outta here, man
leavin the darkness
leavin the parchmnt
leavin, always leavin
lik m leavin u now
not fr gud, just fr now
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We all have a great novel inside us, but if you're anything like me, you can't be arsed to write more than a chapter or so before giving up and pissing off down the pub. Fear not, for the solution is now at hand! In the All-New Twenty-First Century Online Collaborative Novel(tm), anyone can write one chapter of any length, then bugger off and forget all about it.
The Rules
- Prospective authors can join by emailing me, MrFarty@blueyonder.co.uk - only the crème de la crème1 will be accepted, of course.
- Each chapter should end on a cliff-hanger and
solveacknowledge the previous chapter ending. - There will no longer be a weekly vote for the style in which each chapter should be written, but here are a few examples:
- Tabloid: Cat in Mat-Sitting Shock – House Prices set to Crash
- Sci-fi: The space-cat wrapped its tentacles around the mat and snarled, “What are mew looking at?”
- Horror: With its stainless steel claws, the cat slashed John’s guts open before it lost interest and fell asleep on the mat.
- Western: A mean, old, scarred tom-cat curled up on the rush mat outside the saloon.
- Romance: “Oh, Tiddles,” exclaimed Betsy, as the pampered puss lolled on the mat, “do you think he even knows I’m alive?”
- Chaucer: Ye catte satte upon ye matte. For sooth.
- Technical Manual: Attach cat to mouse-mat using bonding resin #3b before applying sticking plasters to exposed skin.
- Agony Aunt: Er...
- Legal Document: Um...
- Manga Comic: Well...
- Fantasy: You get the idea.
4 comments:
hevy stuf man
vry gd !
nd i wrkd in a refrnce to onyons
lik th man does
n stuff
Huh?
No onyons for me.
Like.
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