Thursday, 9 June 2011

Daisy's revenge!

The Zombie cat awoke from the anaesthetic after having his severed head sewn back on. Daisy was very proud of her surgery. She always knew tha Haynes manual for her Honda ss50 would come in handy.

Zombie cat seemed to be feeling the after-effects of the 5 minute operation and was stumbling around, crashing into things and eventually falling down the stairs. Daisy put him in the garden while she made lunch. After a few minutes Daisy noticed a lot of birds dancing in front of Zombie cat, chirping wildly, pecking at him. This was unusual, as Zombie cat was normally a nasty bastard to the birds (as all cats are) and they never used to get so close to him...............but when your head's been sewn on backwards!...

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Rise of the Zombie Cat

"Ohmygod, I thought you were dead!" exclaimed Daisy, "I've been so worried about you. Where have you been? Here, let me brush your fur."

Zombie Cat curled up in Daisy's lap as she started to brush him, then as her hand came close, he sank his teeth into her arm.

"Ow! That's not a very nice way to say hello. I think you've drawn blood. Hey, stop chewing me you naughty kitty! I mean it. Ow! Get off me!"

But Zombie Cat kept gnawing at her, struggling against her as she fought him off with her brush while still trying to smooth his fur.

"Mraow, braaaains!"

"No brains for you, bad kitty! You'll have tuna and like it. Have you been fighting? Your fur's coming out in lumps. And you seem to be missing a leg. Where's my first aid kit? And my samurai sword?"

Zombie Cat was still gnawing at her as she lopped off his head, but after that he relaxed enough for her to pick him up, wash the blood off and start brushing his fur again.

"There, that's better. Now just wait here while I find my sewing kit and some air freshener and I'll soon have you looking - and smelling - as good as new."