Monday 19 November 2007

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[Characters] 5 year old Chantelle and her 6 year old brother Calvin. Their parents, Kylie and the bloke she met on the pull last night.

[Scene] Christmas morning, the crack of dawn, the children are up early, anxious for their presents. They run down the stairs, bouncing with the enthusiasm only those who have yet to experience life can muster. They fall upon their presents, ripping the paper off with glee.

Chantelle, gleefully: "Mummy, daddy! It's the best present in the world ever! You're the best parents in the world, ever".

Calvin, mumpingly: "It's not fair, she always gets the best presents."

Kylie, sluttily: "It's OK, Calvin, look. We got you one as well!"

Calvin: "Yaaaaaay".

The whole family burst into song as the children play with their new toys.

"Throw it off the roof,
Bounce it on the floor,
Kick it in the crotch,
And bang it off the door,

Dead cat,
Dead cat,
It's really where it's at,
Dead cat,
Dead cat,
It's really where it's at."


[Voiceover] Available from all good stores, not suitable for children under the age of 5 as putrefecation may be contagious, always consult a taxidermist before attempting repairs".




Dead cat in a box

8 comments:

Unknown said...

Love it!!!!

Mr Farty said...

I think John knows what he wants for Xmas!

Bonds756 said...

Ha Ha Ha!!

Valley Girl said...

That pic is both cute and distrubing. =)_

Love your blog!

Mr H said...

As I've said before;

"Lowering tones a speciality."

Special end of season rates now available for your magical event.

livesbythewoods said...

Excellent.

Mr Farty said...

Keep voting, folks! It's neck-and-neck between Vogon Poetry and Scooby Doo.

livesbythewoods said...

If Vogon poetry wins, do we need insurance for all the people who suffer brain damage as a result?