Forsooth, and that, sayeth ye churl, thatte catte be exceeding fatte to fitte through yonder hole. Methinks Ich shall haue to fetch me a deuice for to make ye catte smaller, or mayhaps make ye hole bigger? Sikerly it be as Maister Murphy hath proclaimed, that an hole cutte to fitte shalle not be fitte for its purpose. Fol de rol. Ich haue made an japerye.
Swyve thys for an game of soldiery, Ich haue an better idea by far! Ich shall give ye catte to mine gude freende Johannes Gowere and get mineself an hounde!
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We all have a great novel inside us, but if you're anything like me, you can't be arsed to write more than a chapter or so before giving up and pissing off down the pub. Fear not, for the solution is now at hand! In the All-New Twenty-First Century Online Collaborative Novel(tm), anyone can write one chapter of any length, then bugger off and forget all about it.
The Rules
- Prospective authors can join by emailing me, MrFarty@blueyonder.co.uk - only the crème de la crème1 will be accepted, of course.
- Each chapter should end on a cliff-hanger and
solveacknowledge the previous chapter ending. - There will no longer be a weekly vote for the style in which each chapter should be written, but here are a few examples:
- Tabloid: Cat in Mat-Sitting Shock – House Prices set to Crash
- Sci-fi: The space-cat wrapped its tentacles around the mat and snarled, “What are mew looking at?”
- Horror: With its stainless steel claws, the cat slashed John’s guts open before it lost interest and fell asleep on the mat.
- Western: A mean, old, scarred tom-cat curled up on the rush mat outside the saloon.
- Romance: “Oh, Tiddles,” exclaimed Betsy, as the pampered puss lolled on the mat, “do you think he even knows I’m alive?”
- Chaucer: Ye catte satte upon ye matte. For sooth.
- Technical Manual: Attach cat to mouse-mat using bonding resin #3b before applying sticking plasters to exposed skin.
- Agony Aunt: Er...
- Legal Document: Um...
- Manga Comic: Well...
- Fantasy: You get the idea.
3 comments:
Blimey, well done. Was keeping my head below the parapet in a horrible reminder of school days: "Who will read this passage from The Knight's Tale? Ahhh...Lucy"
WithaY - My fave is The Miller's Tale - can you tell why?
Nice one Mr. F. A bit beyond me!!
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