Reality TV

Dee fowateen in tha Big Brutha Howse; wan foughty-seven pee em.

Tha mice are in tha hole in tha skirtin boward, talkin aboot tha cat.

Whitey: "That Fluffy's nothing but a dirty alley-cat, the filthy hooah."

Three-legs: "She should never have been allowed back in the house, it's against the rules. I've got a good mind to walk out...er, limp out."

Tha cat is in tha Di-aree Room, talkin to Big Brutha.

Fluffy: "...and then he gave me a mouse. I mean, I'm not being funny, right, but I thought it was dead. So I was, you know, like, quite pleased, yeah? I went to pick it up and the little <tweet tweet> jumped up and made a run for it! I tried to grab it, but all I got was a <tweet tweet> leg! What use is that to man or beast?"

Big Brother: "Do you have anything else you'd like to tell Big Brother?"

Fluffy: "Well, I don't know how much longer I can keep it a secret from the other house-mates; I'm sure two-legs suspects it already..."

Big Brother: "Big Brother is sure you'll manage. The Diary Room door is now open."

Fluffy: "Oh...and my sardine ration has run out - any chance of -"

Big Brother: "Goodbye, Fluffy."